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| Stepping up my Game, Chris Pratt-style. |
Oh, I face it all right. I face it every morning. I stare it directly in the face. It beams up at me with blue LED lit numbers. Then sometimes flips me the bird by turning red. Yup, it turns RED when you gain and then rubs it in your face.
I'm speaking of my scale, of course.
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| Not my tootsies. |
*Chucks scale across room*
Not to mention the 9 miles of running added into my workout schedule.
I finally hit the wall and threw my hands up in the air. I've accepted that my body is changed forever since the miscarriage. Not that I am unable to heal, lose weight, and build muscle...but I cannot do it the old way. And I cannot do it alone.
Strive for Progress, Not Perfection
I've always attacked my fitness and weight loss goals on my own. Tracked my own calories. Did my own research. Sweated through my own crazy in the gym. And previously, it worked! The times have changed, though. I have changed and I don't want to do it alone. I can't. Trust me, that is superbly difficult for me to admit. But saying it takes such a load off my shoulders. I have also realized a few more truths:
- I do not need to stipulate timeframes for progress.
- Before, I could push my limits, taper, and cram for success so that I could celebrate on that final day. That day has looooong past. Trying to put a deadline on my results has just turned me into a wild-monster-person who is full of fear and frustration.
- I can no longer follow through with severely restrictive diets; whether it be calories or carbs.
- My body and metabolism have changed. I have to be okay with that. This means I need to reevaluate the way I absorb nutrients and use them to my advantage!
- I need and WANT help!
- On the last day I stepped on the scale--hungry, tired, and sad--with nothing to show for it, I knew it was time to reach out for help. To set new goals, new standards, and a new relaxed sensibility.
The Next Chapter
Help is on the way! Through the assistance of Eat to Perform, I am being introduced to a brave new world of calories, carb intake and timing. Here I have coaches and other members to discuss challenges and establish a baseline for my Macros. I can bounce ideas off of people and have these coaches look over my work when I'm frustrated! (Or hopefully, when I'm successful!)
I have also reexamined my goals, which no longer revolve around an arbitrary number on a scale. What's the point of "145" if it doesn't feel good or look good?
Because that's the truth of the matter. I want to look good, feel good, and be a good example. The numbers on the scale could really end up meaning nothing at all if I can pull a Chris Pratt...or a Paul Rudd!
Okay, okay, okay: I'm not actually looking for a 6-pack or an epic man-physique. I mean, I'm a lady. BUT, I would like to make a change. And a big one. A healthy one. A happy one. I wan to swap a little squish for some muscle. I want to kick ass on my strict pull ups. I want to hike ridiculously awful terrains with the man I love. I want buy and enjoy a bikini (And then invest in a spray tan because I may blind people).
This new chapter in my book is going to be about lean muscle, eating well, and living in the NOW. This moment matters just as much as the ones in the future. Life isn't on hold until I "reach my goals." It's going to be about adventures and workouts and protein and power and fun and sweat. It's going to be awesome.
And maybe in a few months, I'll get back on the scale. Just for shits and giggles. But that will be the least of my worries.
